What do you think?"I said."Is this first time in three years that you have wondered that?" shereplied with a small smile.This was really not the answer I had expected. "So do you think that itis okay if J is a girl?" I asked."Yes, I do. It's ok when and after she says she's a girl."Wow. "But she's not real and she will never, NEVER be a REAL girl!" Ialmost shouted. "Who's the perfect one?"I didn't know that J had overheard our conversation, but not all of it."J is a better girl than I am. She would be a better mother than me, I'mjust a tomboy. I wish I could help her."J's mother caught me up in a hug to calm the shaking that had come overme. When I had calmed down, she pushed me out to hold me at arm's lengthand looked me in the eye. "Yes, J is going to be a girl and she must tryharder because of that."The DespairA couple of weeks after I'd realized that J was rather more of a girlthan a boy, J's dad came home earlier than usual. He didn't expect anyoneto be at home so he sat in the. Slowly, with the bottle of Clo'juice and the handkerchief, slowly, I applied the two together. No oder, no smell. Perfect for what I'm about to do. Down the hallway, second to the last door on the left, there I stood, Laura in front of my eyes and boner, sleeping. Her sheets were on the floor, and she was wearing PJ's with a thin T-shirt. I looked at her, spread out, for two minutes. To think that Laura, 21 at this point, did those pics in this room for some shit-ass boyfriend, really made me think twice. Of coarse, at that point, I am about to be the shittiest acquaintance-friend compared to any acts of human kind. But then again, survival of the fittest, right? Slowly, I placed the cloth right over her mouth and nose, just hovering. And then, I pressed hard, covering her eyes with my other hand as she woke up and was struggling. But it didn't last for long, 15 seconds, and all I could see are the things I would do to her. Sprawled out on the bed, there she was, the.
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